it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
