They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
