There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
