using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
