its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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