My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
