Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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