so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
