stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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