Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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