ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
