I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
