i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
