He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
