Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
