first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
