Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
