I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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