You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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