I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
