his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
