one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
