Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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