he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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