i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
