I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit