Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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