so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i think i just lost a toe
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
