Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
