Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
