So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
