Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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