Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
