Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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