he thought i was a dude.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I checked into jail on foursquare
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
