naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
