clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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