That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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