My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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