So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
