hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
