hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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