Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
