wrigley field is MILF paradise
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there's paper in my vomit.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
