I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
A+ Viking dick
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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