My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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