Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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