Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
