Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
