It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So vagazzling was a success
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize