In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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