Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
