I didn't shave. On purpose
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
