he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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