Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Your penis caused this!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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