my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
