Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
