Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
