I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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