I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's blow job season.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
