I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
