If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
