just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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